


this could all go so wrong, but we're so happy

by Murf1307



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Brightest Timeline, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Sexual Experimentation, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-21 15:42:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6057061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Murf1307/pseuds/Murf1307
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the brighter timeline, Bobby and John are best friends, and there's no one Bobby trusts more with his struggle with his sexuality.  But, things start to get complicated, just as soon as Bobby figures himself out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this could all go so wrong, but we're so happy

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in 2006 in the bright timeline. _X-Men: United_ never happened and John never left.

“So when are you and John gonna make like Cyclops and Phoenix?” Kitty asks him one day, and he gives her a _look._

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”  Because he doesn’t. 

Really. 

Kitty rolls her eyes, because she is a traitor.  Absolutely and definitively a _traitor._   “You totally do.  The walls in this place aren't  _that_  thick except Theresa's, and Piotr’s room is right next to you and John’s.” 

That makes him freeze, pun intended, and he looks at her wide-eyed.  “Nothing’s going on.  I swear.” 

“You know it’s okay, right?  Like, Bobby, I’m a _lesbian._   You don’t have to have that whole closet thing with me.  I won’t judge.”  She shrugs like it’s no big thing. 

Bobby rubs his face with one hand.  “It’s not — it’s not like that.” 

“So you and John _aren’t_  banging the night away?” 

It’s no use, she’s not going to drop it, so he might as well tell her the truth.  “I don’t know.  We…do stuff.  Sometimes.  Because I think I might be — y’know.  And it freaks me out a little.” 

Kitty goes from teasing to sympathetic in the space of an instant.  “Oh.  Look, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to —“ 

“It’s okay.  So, um, if you could…not talk about this to anyone else?”  He shrugs a little, biting his lip.  “Because I don’t want people to think that it’s something it’s not.  He’s helping me figure myself out, because he’s a good friend, okay?” 

She nods.  “Okay.  Just — be careful, okay?  Because the two of you really do come off like that, it’s not just the sex you’re clearly having, because Piotr can hear it through his wall.  So, like, if it winds up not just being him helping you figure yourself out, be careful.” 

“I will,” he says, because it’s not going to happen. 

* * *

“Ah gotta say, sugah, yah’ve made some spectacularly terrible life choices, but this takes the cake,” Rogue says, patting John's shoulder with one gloved hand.  “You should talk to Momma, Ah think.”

Rogue’s ‘Momma’ is also Charles Xavier’s occasionally-estranged foster sister, Raven Darkholme, a.k.a. Mystique.  She’s a legend among the more radical arm of mutant lib, famous for having once _shot Magneto_  on national television, and for her various rescues of mutants from dangerous bigots. 

“Why?”  John’s not _against_  talking to Mystique, because holy shit, _Mystique,_ but he’s not sure what she has to do with his hopeless crush on his roommate. 

When Rogue rolls her eyes, it’s fond.  “Momma’s got a lot of experience tellin’ boys tah calm down an’ just go fo' what they want.” 

“I can’t do that, Rogue.  He’s not — he’s experimenting.  I told you that.  He doesn’t even know if he’s into guys, yet.  I don’t want him to think that he owes me, or anything.  Just because I’m an idiot and I’ve been in love with him forever, that doesn’t mean that it’s okay to…expect anything.” 

“But yah could ask.  Yah could say, somewhere between putting yo’ tongue down his throat an’ lettin’ him ‘experiment,’ that if he wants, yah’d be up for a date sometime.” 

John shakes his head.  “I don’t want him to think he has to, or anything.  Y’know?”  He flops over on Rogue’s bed.  “I honestly just want him to figure himself out, and that’s the worst part.  It’s making me feel bad for wanting him to be a little gay, because that’s making it about me.  And it’s not about me, it’s not.  It’s about him and his issues and him needing me for something, I guess.” 

“Oh, sugah, this ain’t healthy.”  Rogue pets his head, because she is an excellent friend.  “It’s gonna rip yah up inside until yah can’t take it anymore.” 

“Probably.  But I can handle it.” 

Rogue sighs.  “If yo’ sure,” she says. 

And he is.  Honest. 

* * *

The thing is, when they’re alone together, it’s perfect.  Or close to it, really.  John’s perfectly accommodating and respects every single one of Bobby’s boundaries, and when they do do _stuff,_  it feels good.  It feels amazing.

It means that when they’re alone, in their room, Bobby starts anticipating.  And it makes him a little nervous, but almost nervous in a good way.  Like he _wants_  to anticipate this, wants to think about how good it’s _going_  to feel.  Like right now, when he’s stretched out on his own bed while John’s sprawled out on the floor.  They’re watching a movie on Bobby’s laptop, and John’s head is right next to Bobby’s thigh. 

He’s very close, and Bobby can feel his body heat, and he’s thinking about what it felt like last night when John was slung over him, kissing him deep and touching him all over. 

He wants to do that again, he realizes.  He wants the heat, wants John touching him.  He bites his lip, tries to figure out how to ask. 

Instead of asking, he just slides his hand down to find the back of John’s neck, wedging his hand between his skin and the side of his mattress.  It’s gentle, careful, and it takes John a moment to react.  “What’s up?” 

Bobby doesn’t know how to ask for this kind of thing, even from John.  Putting it into words, even just in his head, feels like some kind of transgression. 

“The movie’s kind of boring,” he says instead. 

“It’s a SyFy original, you can’t expect it to be _good._ ”  John smirks; Bobby can hear it in his voice. 

Bobby rolls his eyes.  “Yeah, but it could still be _funny-_ bad, not just bad, right?”  He grins a little bit.  “I mean, most’ve the time, that’s the level you joke around at, anyway." 

John turns his head, his cheek brushing against the inside of Bobby’s wrist.  “Oh yeah?" 

“Yeah.”   

“Bullshit,” John replies, smirk full of heat now — somehow, he can always tell.  He always knows just what Bobby needs.  This time, he darts the tip of his tongue out and draws it across Bobby’s pulse-point. 

Bobby makes a little gasping noise.  “ _John_ ,” he responds.   

“Wanna fuck around?” John asks, casual, the way Bobby still can’t. 

Bobby nods emphatically a couple times, and John’s smirk is dark and triumphant; he shifts up, swings over Bobby so that they’re back in the position they’d been in last night.   

“You okay?” John asks, carefully, watching Bobby’s face. 

“Yeah.  It’s cool.  I’m good.”  Bobby reaches up, clumsily, and pulls John down for a kiss.   

John makes a soft, pleased noise and kisses back, nipping at Bobby’s lower lip.  “Good.  Want you to be comfortable,” he murmurs, his hands sliding down Bobby’s sides. 

Bobby moans a tiny bit.  “Kitty knows,” he confesses.  “And, uh, I guess Piotr knows, too.  What we’re doing." 

“So?” John asks.  “D’you wanna stop?" 

“No,” Bobby admits.  “Just thought you should know about it." 

John shakes his head, nosing against Bobby’s cheekbone.  “I don’t care who knows about what we’re doing, unless people find out out that _you_  don’t want to know about it.”  It’s honest, a little earnest, and it makes Bobby’s heart hurt.   

“Thanks,” Bobby whispers back, his hands settled on John’s shoulders.  “I — I’m still figuring things out, y’know?  This is — kind of a mess, for me." 

“I know,” John murmurs, kissing him lightly on the mouth.  “How ‘bout we just do the stuff we know you like, yeah?  Tonight, anyway.  Not testing any of the boundaries, or whatever.  So you feel good." 

Bobby blushes.  “Okay.  I — I’ve liked everything we’ve done, so far, really." 

John grins a little at that and nuzzles against his jaw.  “What was your favorite, then?" 

“I — last night felt really good.  When you, um, with your fingers, in my —“ He trails off, blushing too hard to and too embarrassed to say anything further. 

“Okay.  Binder on or off?”  

“On, please.”  Bobby’s not comfortable enough with his chest — probably won’t be until he gets rid of them — to go without the binder, even during stuff like this, even when it’s only John here. 

“Of course.”  John kisses him again, and starts trailing his hand down between them. “Gonna make you feel so good, icicle." 

Bobby completely believes him. 

* * *

In the aftermath of it, when Bobby gets up to use the bathroom and John rolls over to watch him go, it’s always a little strange, at least for John.

Here he is, desperately in love with Bobby for years, and not all that much more experienced than him, anyway — this is as far as he’s gone with _anybody_ , honestly — and yet Bobby trusts _him_  with his sexuality crisis?  Bobby lets _him_ make him feel good, make him fall apart under his hands and his mouth? 

It’s better than he could’ve ever dreamed, on the one hand, but on the other, it hurts like hell. 

He wants to be _with_ Bobby, not just to be Bobby’s gay experiment.He won’t say anything, though.

Bobby comes back, smiling a little bit.“Thanks, John,” he says, and slides back into bed with him, curling up against his side.“You’re the best.”

John wraps his arm around Bobby’s waist, kissing his shoulder.“You’re welcome.”

They stay there, like that, and soon, they both drift off to sleep.

* * *

A week out from that particular night, Bobby and John are lounging on a couch in the main rec room; John’s legs are draped across Bobby’s lap, and they’re watching some of the younger kids wrestle on the carpet.

One of them suddenly pops up.“Bobby?” he asks, cocking his head to the side.

“Yeah, kiddo?”

“When are you and John gonna get married?”

Bobby freezes, because _oh shit_.Is he being misgendered?Has he, after all this time, been mistaken for a girl _again_?

John laughs.“We can’t,” he says lightly.“Boys can’t marry other boys in New York.”

The kid nods, and goes back to tussling with his friend.

Bobby glances over at John and smiles a little.“Thanks,” he murmurs, quietly.He squeezes John’s ankle.

John just smiles at him, and Bobby feels all warm and fluttery at that.

He doesn’t know what that means, that he feels like this.Or rather, he does — but he doesn’t know what to do about that. 

It’s one thing to be screwing around with his best friend.

It’s quite another to be falling in love with him.

* * *

John can tell something’s wrong.  Nothing changes, really.  Bobby doesn’t act any different, except for one thing:

He stops implying he wants John to touch him, and so John doesn’t try to touch him.

It’s…oddly painful.It hurts more than getting to be with him, even partially.Because then, at least, he got to express himself a little; he got to hold him, and make him feel good, and that was…almost enough.

Presently, Bobby is collapsing onto his own bed, and looks unhappy.

John shifts up on one elbow from his own bed.“Hey.You okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine,” Bobby murmurs softly.He doesn’t look fine; John wants to curl up with him and fix it, but he neither has that right nor any idea how to do it. 

“Okay,” John says, softly.“You sure?”

“…Yeah.”

That’s a no, then.John sits up.“Hey.You know you can talk to me, right?”

“Yeah, I know.”Bobby bites his lip and looks over at him.He looks worried, almost sad.

John crosses the room and sits on the edge of Bobby’s bed.“You’ve been acting weird all week,” he says.“Did I do something?”

Bobby shakes his head.“No, god, no.It — It’s definitely not you.”

“What is it, then?”John wants to touch him, but he doesn’t.He looks at him, a little gentle, a lot worried.

“It’s not important.”Bobby sighs, and reaches up, tugging John down by his shirt. 

The kiss is awkward, unsettled; as if Bobby is doing it for the wrong reasons — like he thinks it’s what John’s after, or something.

John pulls back, frowning.“Seems like it’s gotta be, if you’re so messed up over it.”

“I promise, I’m fine.”Bobby looks away.

“Okay,” John acquiesces, and then leans in again, kissing Bobby’s cheek.“Just.Let me know?If there’s something I can do.”

Bobby makes a soft, punched-out little noise.“Why do you do things like that?”

“Like what?”

“You’re so…affectionate.”Bobby closes his eyes.“Makes it hard not to fall in love with you.”

John blinks at him.“What do you mean?”

Bobby’s face scrunches up, and he turns away from him.“It’s stupid, but I’m in love with you.”

It’s the craziest thing John’s ever heard, and he can only do one thing:He lays down next to Bobby and curls around him.“Is that a bad thing?” he asks, carefully.

“Isn’t it?”Bobby asks, despairingly.“You’re my _best friend_.”

John hooks his chin over Bobby’s shoulder.“Yeah.But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you too.”

Bobby turns over, pulling back a little.“You — you do?”

“Yeah.”

“But — you never said anything.”Bobby’s hands curl in the front of John’s shirt.

John shrugs.“You weren’t sure you were even into guys.I didn’t want to make things weird,” he murmurs, hands covering Bobby’s.“I didn’t want to make you think you owed me anything.”

Bobby pulls him in and kisses him, hard, for that.John gasps a little and presses his hands to Bobby’s waist, kissing back.

It’s not really any different from the kisses they’ve already shared, but Bobby seems surer of himself.“I love you,” he breathes into the space between them when Bobby pulls back.“I just want this to work.”

“It _does_ work, John.We work,” Bobby says, and he’s laughing, almost hysterical-looking.“You and me, we _work_.Kitty keeps teasing me about you, y’know.”

“Really?” John grins back at him.

“Yeah.She asked me when you and I were getting married,” he replies, blushing a little bit.

John laughs.“I think we’ve got some time before we need to think about that, right?” he teases.

“Yeah.For now, I just want this.Us.Together.”

John leans up and kisses him again.“I’m good with that.


End file.
